1 00:00:07,820 --> 00:00:11,900 Round floor perfumery, stationery and leather goods, suites and haberdashery, 2 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,760 kitchenware and food going off. 3 00:00:18,940 --> 00:00:23,480 First floor, telephones, gents, ready -made food, jumps, socks, pie hats, 4 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,340 underwear and shoes going off. 5 00:00:30,719 --> 00:00:33,540 Second floor, carpet, travel goods and bedding. 6 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,900 Serial, soft furnishings, restaurant. He's going down. 7 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,700 Morning, Mr Harmon. 8 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,160 Oh, morning. Why aren't you using the vacuum cleaner? 9 00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:55,340 The dustpan and brush is quieter, sir. I don't want to wait. I don't want to 10 00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:57,540 wait young Mr Spooner before his alarm calls. 11 00:00:57,950 --> 00:01:00,570 Mr. Spooner, why, where is he? Sleeping behind the counter. 12 00:01:00,870 --> 00:01:05,790 Due to the firm's intransigence about paying travel money, despite the 13 00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:09,610 fares, Mr. Spooner has taken the kipping behind the counter from time to time to 14 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:10,610 save money. 15 00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:16,590 Oh, good morning, Mr. Rumbold. 16 00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:23,210 Mr. Spooner, staff are not supposed to stay in the store overnight, quite apart 17 00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:25,150 from which we open in nearly ten minutes. 18 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,000 Well, on my wages, I can't afford to go home and get here again. 19 00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:29,420 But don't worry. 20 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:34,460 I'll allow three minutes for my breakfast, three minutes for my 21 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,460 two minutes to get dressed. 22 00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:36,540 Then I'm all yours. 23 00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:39,060 Hello. 24 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,760 Seems odd that other members of staff don't have the same problem. 25 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:46,900 Don't you believe it? 26 00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:06,540 I was pulling a lot of weight behind me. 27 00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:09,419 Not to mention the lot she'd been pushing in front of her. 28 00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:15,480 Yes, I was, but I get nervous when I can't see where we're going. So tomorrow 29 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,020 I'm going to ride on the front. 30 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,680 It's my bike. You'll go where you're told. 31 00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:24,520 Mrs. Slocum, I hope you're insured. This looks most unsafe to me. 32 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,940 Well, it's the cheapest transport I could find. 33 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,900 And with these high fares, I have to economise. 34 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,360 That's why I had no idea things were as bad as that. 35 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:33,620 Well, they are. 36 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:37,760 Mr. Harmon, I wonder, when you have a moment, could you have a look at my 37 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,080 I think it's a bit low. 38 00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:42,260 Yes, I can see that. 39 00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:45,480 And I can raise a saddle on your bike, too, if you like. 40 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:50,540 Don't spanky words with him. Why not? She's bandied everything else. 41 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,260 Would you like my pump up your proboscis? 42 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,020 Are you trying to put the wind up me? 43 00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:00,160 Mr. Harmon, be about your business. 44 00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:03,060 Oh, pop. Park it in the fitting room, Miss Brown. 45 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,540 Yes, Mrs. Slocum. 46 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:15,300 I hope I'm not late. 47 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:23,580 No, Mr. Humphreys, and I take it that you too have been avoiding expense by 48 00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,300 using public transport? Oh, no. 49 00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:29,170 No, I use them all the time. I hang on to the backs of buses as much as I can. 50 00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:32,790 As a matter of fact, I got two speeding tickets in a week. 51 00:03:33,010 --> 00:03:34,830 That sounds most dangerous. 52 00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:36,190 Don't you believe it? 53 00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:41,730 You know, only the other day, yesterday it was, one of my wheels came off right 54 00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:45,330 where there was a double yellow line. Well, I was just bending down to tighten 55 00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:51,110 my nuts when a policeman came up to me and put a sticker on my helmet and tried 56 00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:52,110 to clamp me. 57 00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:58,170 I had no idea things were as bad as this. 58 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:02,350 Oh, I must talk to Mr. Grace very firmly about this travel allowance. 59 00:04:04,670 --> 00:04:07,390 Ah, good morning, Captain Peacock. Morning, Miss Belfridge. 60 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:10,910 I see you had no difficulty in getting here this morning. 61 00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:11,749 No, sir. 62 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:15,770 My wife happens to be away, so I stayed with an old army friend who happens to 63 00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:16,769 have a flat round the corner. 64 00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:20,550 Oh, good morning, Miss Belfridge. Oh, good morning, Captain Peacock. 65 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:23,130 Isn't that Miss Belfridge's umbrella? 66 00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:29,500 I distinctly remember finding her staff discount shirt for it. Is it? 67 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,020 My goodness me, sir, it is. 68 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,060 I must have picked it up last night by mistake. 69 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,120 And I somehow seem to have yours, Stephen. 70 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:41,500 What luck. 71 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,640 You've never mentioned having an old army friend with a flat round the 72 00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:51,480 I just happened to bump into him the other day and he gave me the key. It 73 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,780 a bit of money on fares. 74 00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:55,090 Well, that was a bit of luck. 75 00:04:55,430 --> 00:04:56,430 Wasn't it? 76 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:59,850 Well, it's only for a short while, and it is very tiny. 77 00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:01,990 Oh, but it's got a lovely view. 78 00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:10,310 I very seldom involve myself in the private lives of my staff, but is there 79 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,570 anything about you and Miss Belfridge that I should know? 80 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,240 I can safely say there is absolutely nothing that you should know. 81 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,580 Oh, I see. The store will be open soon. 82 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,180 Mr. Humphreys, Mr. 83 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:25,140 Spooner, Mrs. Sloker, Miss Brahms, please attend to your attire. 84 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:27,320 I'm going to see Mr. Grace right away. 85 00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:28,800 I shall deny everything. 86 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,300 I'm going to see him about the travel allowance. The staff are under great 87 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:37,020 duress. As I was saying, I shall deny myself everything in the way of 88 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,600 unnecessary luxuries to ensure that I get here on time. 89 00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:44,640 Well, I'm not going to deny myself anything to get here. I can hardly 90 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,180 puncture outfit for the bike. 91 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:50,200 Unless we get a travel allowance, I shall have to look for a position near a 92 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,140 home. It's disgusting the way they treat us. 93 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:57,000 Well, I don't know how they expect us to get here at all. You know, my mother, 94 00:05:57,100 --> 00:06:00,820 who is not a young woman, has had to take up babysitting to supplement her 95 00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:01,820 income. No. 96 00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:04,540 Mind you, she takes them with her to bingo. 97 00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:08,560 And it's not easy, you know, getting legs 11 and the wind up at the same 98 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,720 They won't complain. They won't do nothing. 99 00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:15,520 Why don't we write to Mr. Grace, tell him what's going on? 100 00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:18,940 Oh, he'd only file it under T for troublemaker. 101 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,320 No, I vote we go and see him ourselves. 102 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,440 Yes, and then he'll be too busy. 103 00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:26,560 What we need to do is to go to an industrial tribunal. 104 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,020 What are you doing? 105 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,940 I'm going to phone Mr. Grace and tell him how desperate we are. 106 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,100 Hello. Mr. Grace, please. 107 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,360 No, no, it's very personal. 108 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:40,910 Oh, hello, Mr. Grace. 109 00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:45,150 I'm speaking on behalf of Miss Brahms, Mrs. Slocum and myself. 110 00:06:46,270 --> 00:06:47,670 And young Mr. Spooner. 111 00:06:48,710 --> 00:06:52,230 Yes, now listen, we're very hard up. And if we don't get a travel allowance, 112 00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:53,870 then we won't be coming to work at all. 113 00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:56,130 What, who? 114 00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:57,730 Who's speaking? 115 00:06:58,430 --> 00:06:59,570 It's Mr. Humphreys. 116 00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:01,810 Yes, that one. 117 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,910 No, I'm not bent on making trouble. 118 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:07,990 I'm not bent on anything. 119 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,710 No, no, I'm not a troublemaker. I'm merely trying to put my case on the 120 00:07:15,210 --> 00:07:16,390 I can do what with it? 121 00:07:17,690 --> 00:07:18,690 Hello? 122 00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:19,910 Hello? 123 00:07:20,550 --> 00:07:21,550 He's hung up. 124 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:24,730 Did he suggest you take your case to a tribunal? 125 00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:28,490 No, Debenhams. He's given me the sack for being a troublemaker. 126 00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:30,790 He can't sack you. 127 00:07:31,190 --> 00:07:32,190 Well, he has. 128 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,330 What's my mother going to say? 129 00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:37,390 I've never been asked to give up a position before. 130 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,210 Hardly ever. 131 00:07:48,190 --> 00:07:52,150 I can hardly believe this is our last morning coffee together. 132 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:53,770 It's coffee. 133 00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:55,070 I thought it was tea. 134 00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,990 No, the tea's the one with the froth on it. 135 00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:01,450 I hear on the grapevine you've got the push. 136 00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:05,760 I'd like to say, Mr Humphreys, on behalf of the kitchen staff, we're very sorry 137 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,220 to see you go. And I've a fairy cake for you on the house. 138 00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,740 And would you sign this menu as a memento? 139 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,260 I couldn't be more touched. 140 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,520 And would you pay this outstanding bill before you go? 141 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,060 Right, I couldn't be more touched. 142 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:25,980 I've got good news. 143 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:31,660 Mr Grace has, on reflection, reconsidered his decision to sack Mr 144 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,429 What a relief. 145 00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:39,610 And Mr. Grace has come up with a very interesting offer to solve the problem 146 00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:40,610 the travel allowance. 147 00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:41,630 How much? 148 00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:43,590 Well, it's not actually a cash offer. 149 00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:49,050 As you know, Mr. Grace has three private apartments on the top floor. As these 150 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:52,990 have not been used for quite some years, he has decided to offer them at a 151 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:57,270 minimal rent for use by members of the staff, say, two or three nights a week, 152 00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:58,570 thereby saving money. 153 00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:02,460 But if there are... There are only three rooms, and there are five of us in the 154 00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:05,160 department. Whom is going to share with who? 155 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,780 Well, you, Mrs. Slocum, could perhaps share with Miss Brahms. Mr. 156 00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:11,380 Spooner could share with Mr. 157 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:15,820 Humphreys. And Captain Peacock could... Hello there, Mrs. Slocum. 158 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:21,280 Captain Peacock could share with... could perhaps stay there by himself. Or 159 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,820 might perhaps avail myself of the offer. 160 00:09:24,420 --> 00:09:26,460 Myself. When can we have a view? 161 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,720 Well, we could go and look at them now, of course. Mr Harmon is giving them a 162 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,820 quick spring clean, but you'll get the general idea. 163 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,140 Be a relief not to go home. 164 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,080 Can't stand those children. 165 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,200 Has your mother produced again? 166 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,380 No, she stopped doing that when she had me. We're babysitting. 167 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,540 Come on, let's go and look at the room. 168 00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:45,820 Yes, come on. 169 00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:50,800 I couldn't help overhearing. Can I come and look as well? 170 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,440 Why not? 171 00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,710 I don't think that's what she had in mind. 172 00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:13,270 Yes, well, now, this is actually Mr. 173 00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:17,490 Grace's personal room, but the two on either side are more or less identical. 174 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,050 So, what do you think? 175 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,190 It has all the charm of Lenin's tomb. 176 00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:24,690 I suppose we could make it look quite cosy. 177 00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:27,690 There is an added attraction of a small balcony. 178 00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:30,070 what leads directly to the fire escape. 179 00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:34,830 There is a shared kitchen off through that door and a loo, what is shared with 180 00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:35,830 the rooms adjacent. 181 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,070 Right, where's the bedroom? 182 00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:38,429 You're in it. 183 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,830 This bookcase is false. 184 00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:42,930 You simply press Lady Chatterley and hey, presto. 185 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:48,510 I bet this place can tell some tales. 186 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:51,390 Yeah, Mr Grace used to do a lot of reading up here. 187 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,590 Well, let's see how comfy the bed is. 188 00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,420 I suppose Mr. Grace used to ring for his secretary when he wanted her to take 189 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,420 something down in Harry. 190 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:11,920 He shouldn't have 191 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:12,920 done that. 192 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,520 Well, get him back. 193 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:16,720 Yes. 194 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,260 Where's he gone? 195 00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:24,360 Well, Mr. Grace often used to get taken short during the night. 196 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,640 So he designed a bed that would transport him to the WC as quick as 197 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,880 Apparently the mechanism is still in working order. 198 00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:41,120 Next time I go to bed, I'll wear me crotchet and knee pads. 199 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:47,440 Yes, well, I'm sure this can all be made very cosy. Yeah, but it all smells of 200 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,440 mothballs. 201 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:54,080 Oh, well, a good scrub will soon get rid of that. My only problem is, 202 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,900 pussy feel at home in a strange place? 203 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,160 No, I don't think we can allow cats. 204 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,300 We'll see about that. 205 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,760 Well, Captain Peacock, I don't mind sharing one of these with you. 206 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,400 Help me with petrol and parking on the odd day. 207 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,780 I don't mind being on my own, sir. 208 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,120 Well, I can share the cost of gas and electricity. 209 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:21,800 There's far more to travel than just the cost, you know. There's the wear and 210 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:22,800 tear on the nerves. 211 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:27,660 Just to be able to pop up here and put one's feet up, well, it could regenerate 212 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,860 one. It could even regenerate two. 213 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,180 Well, now then, let's see. Who's keen on the idea? 214 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,300 Me and Miss Brahms will have one. 215 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,880 Well, I don't mind sharing with Mr Spooner or Miss Belfridge. I'm easy 216 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:41,880 way. 217 00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:44,540 Well, I'm not easy either way. 218 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,560 I'd rather share with Miss Belfridge. 219 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,700 No, I don't need a room. 220 00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:52,230 I do think it's exciting. 221 00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:53,970 We're all going to be neighbours. 222 00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:57,950 And you know, the nice thing is we all get on so well together. 223 00:12:58,330 --> 00:12:59,330 This is true. 224 00:12:59,550 --> 00:13:03,690 Yeah, well, there is just one point. As this apartment was Mr. Grace's, it is 225 00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:07,070 larger than the other two rooms and the only one with a balcony. 226 00:13:07,550 --> 00:13:09,970 So you'll have to decide who's going to have it. 227 00:13:10,230 --> 00:13:11,230 We will. 228 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:15,970 I think as I'm senior middle management, it might be more suitable if I had it. 229 00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:20,650 Bearing in mind that Mr. Rumboat, who is full senior management, will perhaps 230 00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:25,610 from time to time be sharing it with me, giving me due notice, of course. It's a 231 00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:29,390 good point, Big Orton. Well, far be it from me to put my forepeneth in, but I 232 00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:33,030 think really I should have it. As I was the one that brought it to a head and 233 00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:37,010 nearly got the sack, it should be offered to me for my efforts on our 234 00:13:37,270 --> 00:13:38,290 I asked first. 235 00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:39,489 She did. 236 00:13:39,490 --> 00:13:41,690 And ladies should be given first choice. 237 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,090 Yeah, well, there's one thing I did omit. 238 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:48,960 Although this is a larger apartment, it is directly above the vent of the Indian 239 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,260 restaurant at the back. 240 00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:54,240 And curry and chips can pervade from time to time. 241 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,080 Well, that settles it. Peacock and I will have one of the other two. 242 00:13:58,340 --> 00:13:59,600 How bad is the curry? 243 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,580 Well, let me put it this way. When you order the paint, I'll pop in half a 244 00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:05,280 hairisoles of hairwick. 245 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:07,880 Have a nice spray. 246 00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:16,930 Is the coast clear? 247 00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:24,010 Yes. Right, pass me that sauce, sir. 248 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:27,810 Call you an off -copper, you know, if they find out you've smuggled your cat 249 00:14:27,810 --> 00:14:33,250 here this morning. Well, as this is our first night away from home in our flat, 250 00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:37,030 I want to be sure that I don't go without my little tiddles. 251 00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:50,550 Oh, yes. 252 00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,750 All she does is eat and sleep. 253 00:14:55,330 --> 00:14:58,410 Good afternoon, madam. May I help you and the young gentleman? 254 00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:02,550 Very naughty, Cedric. 255 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,850 You must forgive him. It's his birthday. 256 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:08,370 Many have a return, little boy. 257 00:15:10,230 --> 00:15:11,230 Certainly. 258 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:13,510 Mrs. Slocum, are you free for a hat? 259 00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:15,130 Oh, yes, Captain Peacock. 260 00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:16,670 Do come this way, madam. 261 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,600 We do have other hats as well as the ones you see on display. 262 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,140 Oh, what a dear little boy. 263 00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,000 It's his birthday. 264 00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:34,520 What a pity. I can't give him some. 265 00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:38,220 There are many to choose from. How very difficult. 266 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,560 Well, perhaps I could hold your bag for you while you browse. 267 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,820 Thank you. Oh, I see you've already purchased something. 268 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,220 Oh, it's a little clockwork mouth. 269 00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:49,940 Cedric's been dying for one. 270 00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:55,300 You can play with it while Mummy chooses a hat. 271 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:01,700 Ah, now that's one of our more expensive ones, but it's very chic. 272 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,120 Do you like Mummy in this hat? 273 00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:11,110 you go and play while Mummy makes up her mind on her own. 274 00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:14,150 Go and play with your mouse, dear. 275 00:16:14,730 --> 00:16:16,990 Um, may I see that one, please? 276 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:41,460 I don't think I like any of these. 277 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:42,760 Come along, Frederick. 278 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,160 Where's my mouse? 279 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:53,200 It was so hot that it just popped under there to take its little clothes off. 280 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,680 There you are. 281 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:56,200 Have a nice birthday. 282 00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,400 That's my mouse. 283 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:00,880 Oh, don't be silly, Frederick. 284 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,760 Mr. Herman, you are not allowed on the floor at this hour of the afternoon. 285 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,740 I've just come to tell you I've got that particular wallpaper, what you chose, 286 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,800 and I've persuaded the radio department to lend you the stereophonic equipment. 287 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:19,040 Oh, well, that is very good news. And how's the decorating going? Oh, Seymour 288 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,079 and Percival nearly finished. 289 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,760 I've got one or two curtain swatches to show Mr. Humphreys, with your 290 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,980 permission. Very well, but be quick. Thank you, sir. 291 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,560 Now, Mr. Humphreys, are you free to swatch? 292 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,840 I'm free. 293 00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:46,540 Shall I put you down for the floral, then? Well, I prefer it to the other 294 00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:48,720 Those stripes are very coronation street. 295 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,600 Those spots make me feel liverish. Well, they're not curtains with flowers on 296 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:53,600 them, especially dandelions. 297 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:58,280 They're not dandelions. They're sunflowers. A bit small for sunflowers. 298 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,920 because the material is pre -shrunk. 299 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:05,300 I've already got a plain carpet. I'm trying to brighten it up with the 300 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,740 I prefer a patterned carpet. Don't show to do it so much. 301 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,020 There won't be any dirt. 302 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,200 We take our shoes off and put our bedroom slippers on when we come into 303 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,080 room. Oh, I don't walk round in my slippers. I wear my socks. 304 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,500 Not in my flat, you do. 305 00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:17,080 I don't get to choose anything. 306 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:20,800 Yes, if you wish, you can choose whether you pay half the gas, electricity, new 307 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,520 dustpan and brush, cup and saucer, bath towel or skateboard home. 308 00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,620 I'll put those things on order. 309 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,220 It'll be like living with my mother. 310 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,480 Well, I prefer the stripes. They're more to my taste. Yes, but it's not your 311 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,820 taste, is it? It's my taste. 312 00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:34,100 I've got to live with it. 313 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:35,600 Well, you can live with it on your own. 314 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,120 Cancel his half. 315 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:42,460 Will there be any alimony or is it an amicable divorce? 316 00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:44,060 You start. 317 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,480 I've got a very short fuse. 318 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,760 That's the rumour that's going round packing. 319 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,290 Oh, shut. 320 00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:28,950 You know, those flowers look quite real. 321 00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:32,170 Not to me, they don't. They just look like horrible plastic. 322 00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:35,150 Well, if you half close your eyes, they look real. 323 00:19:35,990 --> 00:19:37,950 Well, that's the curtains done. 324 00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:40,230 I'm still not sure about those spots. 325 00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:42,150 I like them. 326 00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:46,210 Well, we'll just have to see if I can live with them. Would you like a cup of 327 00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:48,110 tea? Oh, I'm dying for one. 328 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:50,650 Well, when you make it, make one for me as well. 329 00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:02,550 feet up. 330 00:20:03,190 --> 00:20:08,150 Oh, while you're in the kitchen, will you put a pan of water on the gas? I 331 00:20:08,150 --> 00:20:10,250 to boil a couple of codsheads for Tiddles. 332 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,250 It's her usual diet. 333 00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:16,250 Do you mean to tell me I've got to sit here every night with the smell of 334 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:17,270 boiling codsheads? 335 00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:20,510 Oh, you'll get used to it. Only two sugars in me tea. 336 00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:22,170 Yes, me lady. 337 00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:28,330 Mrs. Slukeham's residence. 338 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,150 Oh, yes, we would. 339 00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:45,390 He says if he shows us this, can he come and look at ours? 340 00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:47,709 All right. 341 00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:51,610 We're not quite straight yet, but I'm just making some tea. 342 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,170 Why don't you pop round for a cup? 343 00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:55,930 Right, bye -bye, then. 344 00:20:57,670 --> 00:21:00,130 Oh, isn't it nice having him next door? 345 00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:02,370 Have you got enough room on that sofa? 346 00:21:02,730 --> 00:21:04,210 Oh, yes, it's ever so comfy. 347 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,450 Where am I going to sit? 348 00:21:06,810 --> 00:21:09,190 Oh, there are some beanbags in the corner. 349 00:21:51,630 --> 00:21:54,630 These are the twins. She's got the triplets. She's taken them to bingo. 350 00:21:56,230 --> 00:21:57,510 Oh, kettle, Miss Brown. 351 00:21:57,770 --> 00:22:01,210 Oh, and while you're in there, light the gas under the cod's head. 352 00:22:02,810 --> 00:22:05,810 We'll have a nice cup of tea. Would you like a bean bag? 353 00:22:06,130 --> 00:22:07,470 I prefer tetleys. 354 00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:13,490 No, no, no, no. I mean to sit on. I believe they're very comfy. 355 00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:34,900 Come and see mine. 356 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,840 Are they going to make that noise all night? 357 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,040 I hope not. 358 00:22:40,740 --> 00:22:42,760 Come and sit next to me, Mr. 359 00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:44,380 Humphreys, and give me a baby. 360 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,600 I only came in for a cup of tea. 361 00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:05,740 how to put it to sleep. 362 00:23:06,540 --> 00:23:08,900 Yes, did your mother ever sing this to you? 363 00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:11,520 Sweetest little fellow everybody knows. 364 00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:14,240 Yes, and I'm still trying to find out who told them. 365 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,040 But he's just been to the loo. 366 00:23:54,340 --> 00:23:57,300 I'd better go and change him. I won't be a minute. 367 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,560 Could you please keep that noise down? These walls are very thin and it's most 368 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:02,560 distracting. 369 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,660 People should not be allowed to have babies up here. 370 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,740 I'm afraid that's my fault. 371 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,400 Eh? Well, me mother... 372 00:24:10,419 --> 00:24:12,820 She's babysitting. I'm just going to burp this one. 373 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,500 Don't tell me you've got your cat up here as well. 374 00:24:18,820 --> 00:24:20,160 Well, she's very well behaved. 375 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,120 It's just that she knows she's going to get some boiled cobs' heads. 376 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:25,820 And it's made her excited. 377 00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:29,880 Well, go and shut your door. 378 00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:34,580 That dreadful noise! 379 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,440 We're not having that row next door. 380 00:24:37,820 --> 00:24:42,040 Well, if I had to put up with a... Oh, they're a boiled concert. You're not in 381 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,400 much of a position to complain about a little light music. 382 00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:51,900 Sweet as a little pearl Everybody knows Babies should not be allowed. 383 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,120 Only those who've been allocated living quarters should be here. 384 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,700 You're getting warm, Stephen. 385 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,420 Oh, yes? Well, what's she doing here, then? 386 00:25:01,860 --> 00:25:04,920 Miss Belbridge is just waiting for the rush hour traffic to subside. 387 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,600 Oh! 388 00:25:20,430 --> 00:25:21,430 No, thank you. 389 00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:24,610 What a good thing you like babies, Miss Belfridge. 390 00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:26,310 Here. 391 00:25:27,590 --> 00:25:30,050 There we are. Now you can sit on the bed and cuddle it. 392 00:25:31,550 --> 00:25:36,030 I couldn't find a nappy, so I used a tea towel. 393 00:25:36,690 --> 00:25:38,650 I think it's still got vim on it. 394 00:25:40,150 --> 00:25:41,150 Give it to me. 395 00:25:41,450 --> 00:25:42,550 Hello, Miss Belfridge. 396 00:25:43,310 --> 00:25:45,310 I'm not cut out for this sort of thing. 397 00:25:47,090 --> 00:25:49,990 Oh, haven't you got a way with babies? 398 00:25:50,810 --> 00:25:54,070 I think this one wants a new nappy. Oh, no. 399 00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:58,530 Well, you see, he's run out of clean nappies. So what can we use? 400 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:02,530 I know. Captain Peacock's got a clean napkin wrapped around a champagne 401 00:26:02,650 --> 00:26:04,150 Oh, good. I'll use that. 402 00:26:04,390 --> 00:26:05,910 It'll keep his little bum cool. 403 00:26:08,430 --> 00:26:09,510 Oh, dear. 404 00:26:09,730 --> 00:26:12,690 Who's this? It's like Piccadilly Circus. 405 00:26:13,510 --> 00:26:16,230 Ah, I just popped in to see how everything was going. 406 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:26,380 I must say, it all looks very cosy. Ah, I'm glad to see that you're entertaining 407 00:26:26,380 --> 00:26:27,299 Miss Belfish. 408 00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:28,680 I'm rather relieved about that. 409 00:26:28,940 --> 00:26:30,600 Well, I must be off. I'm late already. 410 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,120 Excuse me, Mr. Rumbold. I've just made an express journey up on the goods lift 411 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:37,680 to let Captain Peacock know that his wife's on the way up. 412 00:26:38,420 --> 00:26:40,080 Apparently her bridge evening was cancelled. 413 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,960 It's a very good thing for him that Miss Belfish is in here. 414 00:26:44,540 --> 00:26:48,840 Mrs. Peacock is a very jealous woman and he does sail rather near the wind. 415 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,940 I don't know what you... mean? 416 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,460 Would you say that Mrs. Grumbold was a jealous woman? 417 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,500 I've never given her cause. Why do you ask? Because she's on her way up in a 418 00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:00,540 lift with Mrs. Peacock. 419 00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:04,500 Oh, good heavens. I don't want her to meet Miss Belfridge. I always described 420 00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:05,500 her as rather plain. 421 00:27:05,660 --> 00:27:06,840 Right, look, get on the bed. 422 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,480 Don't argue. Just go on to the bed. Go on. 423 00:27:09,700 --> 00:27:12,160 Sit up on the bed, Ed. Hold your breath. 424 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,200 This is your only chance. 425 00:27:20,629 --> 00:27:22,990 Stephen, and where's Cuthbert? 426 00:27:27,350 --> 00:27:31,270 What are you doing here? 427 00:27:31,470 --> 00:27:32,750 What happened to your bridge evening? 428 00:27:33,150 --> 00:27:36,110 Cancelled. And what are you doing with that baby? 429 00:27:36,470 --> 00:27:38,450 I'm babysitting with Mr Humphreys. 430 00:27:38,670 --> 00:27:43,870 Alone? Naturally. I just came in to select a book. 431 00:27:45,210 --> 00:27:48,090 And here's a very appropriate one for you, Stephen. Lady Chatterley. 432 00:27:48,670 --> 00:27:49,670 Let's look out. 433 00:27:53,330 --> 00:27:57,290 What a surprise. I didn't know you were up here. 434 00:27:58,230 --> 00:28:00,250 Cuthbert, what does this mean? 435 00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:02,350 And who is that person? 436 00:28:03,310 --> 00:28:05,970 Perhaps we can find a more suitable time for introductions. 437 00:28:07,710 --> 00:28:10,390 The back of one! 438 00:28:10,930 --> 00:28:13,590 Sorry, darling, to think that I doubted you. 439 00:28:14,010 --> 00:28:15,010 I forgive you. 440 00:28:15,590 --> 00:28:20,290 Typical. Only he could be left old in the baby and come up smelling of roses. 441 00:28:21,230 --> 00:28:23,950 That's not roses. That's burning cockheads. 442 00:28:29,090 --> 00:28:32,490 And you put up with all this hardship to save money? 443 00:28:32,830 --> 00:28:35,270 Save money? I did it to save everything.